Phone conversation, as it should’ve been

Salesperson Steve:
Hello, this is Steve Whatsmyname from Outdoor Bigscreen Ltd. am I speaking to the person responsible for buying your companies’ media?

Me:
Well… ehm… I guess you could say… ehm…

Steve:
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful… well, listen here Erwin, Outdoor Bigscreen Ltd. and you have a great, long and successful history together, I can tell from looking at my files…

Me:
Is that so…? I’m not quite sure…

Steve:
I want you to know Erwin, that as you new account director I can give you the exact awesome deals you are accustomed to from Outdoor Bigscreen Ltd. and that means that….

Me:
Steve?

Steve:
Yes Erwin, how can I help you?

Me:
You are an account director?

Steve:
Yes I am Erwin! And as you account director I can…

Me:
Steve?

Steve:
Yes Erwin. Anything else unclear? Because I have full…

Me:
If you are a ‘director’ of anything at all, why are you sitting in a call center giving me the exact same- read from a screen no doubt- greeting as you predecessors Micheal Whatsmyname and Jim Whatsmyname did a couple of weeks ago?

Steve:
Well, …em…. what makes you think I’m in a call center?

Me:
Because I can hear all the other conversations. Actually, I think I can even hear Micheal Whatsmyname in the background there….

Steve:

Me:
And why is it, every time I talk to you guys and I am not prepared to pay the price you name, you immediately put me on hold and patch me through to another guys who is apparently a  ‘senior director’? What the f*#k – if you’ll pardon my language-  is that about? Why can;t you guys just say: “Hello sir, I am a student and I try to sell you some advertising time, but if you do not say yes immediately I’ll put you through to another student who’s been here for more than a year and has taken the advanced ‘try to rip the corporate buyer’ course already” At least you wouldn’t be insulting my intelligence as much…

Steve:
Heyheyhey Erwin, that’s a nice rant right there Woohoo! So you interested in buying or not? Heyhey….!!!

Me:
No Steve, as I told you guys last time. I don’t know how you got my private mobile number, but as long you don’t lose or at least stop using it, I’ll never -repeat: never- do business with you guys again…

Steve:
… ehmmmmm… Shall I put you through then?

Me:
I’m hanging up Steve. Goodbye.

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